Speaking at ER Training

Outside the Emergency room of Utah Valley Hospital

A year ago I ( Bryce's mum) went with a friend to start tap lessons.  As the year progressed I learned that our teacher was a nurse in ER at Utah Valley hospital.  One day as I was visiting with her and some of the other ladies in our class, the thought came to me that she might have known about Bryce.  I told her about his accident and asked if she remembered anything about it.  She did and she was the nurse that admitted Bryce.  I was very  humbled to think out of all the people in Utah County that my tap teacher in Elk Ridge shared that significant day with me.  Later she asked me if it would be alright if Kim spoke to a group of doctors and nurses about our experience since he rode in the ambulance and was with Bryce the entire time from the accident to the end.  Time passed and just this  month, a date was set and on Monday I met Kim in the hospital conference room filled with talking, eating, noisy people while a presenter was up front explaining a service that his company provided.  Several people took turns speaking and each time they were given a sign that told them they had one minute left, etc.  Everyone was talking fast to get through their material.  I wondered if Kim was prepared to condense and be as fast with his recounting of Bryce's accident.  When his time came there was as a hush that settled and the hurry was gone.  I was surprised and relieved for Kim.  It was not the easiest of things to talk about and as he got to the part of the end of the doctors and nurses trying to do what they could for Bryce, the tears rolled down his cheeks.  I just sat there telling myself to smile.  I did okay but there were Kleenexes being handed up and down the rows and sniffles behind me.  Kim said that it was difficult to talk when he saw the tears in others eyes.  It is a sacred thing to talk about death to those that work hard to stop it.   He got no sign telling him to finish up and it was very quiet  but after he concluded there was a group of doctors and nurses that filed around him and expressed their sorrow and shared memories of that day.  We got to meet several that were there that day...people who said they recognized us and those that remembered easily the events of Bryce's accident.  That amazed me.  I can only say that from the depths of my heart and Kim's, we felt such a sense of gratitude for this group of people and all they tried to do for Bryce and for them remembering him and sharing their grief with us.  It was sacred to us.  Their faces were a blur that long ago day but their desires to help Bryce, to do all that they could and the way they treated our family will always stay with us.  That is one reason why Brooke, Dallin and McKay are having their picture taken moments after saying good bye to Bryce.  That is why I like this photo so much.  To the casual observer, it is a picture of our children somewhere but to us, on that day, it is a reminder of a loving Heavenly Father, a sacred experience, a special angel looking over us and the goal...our family can be forever. 

What Elder Utchdorf wrote

I was reading some of Bryce's letters the other day.  It was definitely a Bryce day.  I don't know what started it but it continued throughout the day and into the week.  I saw lots of Rav4's, heard a certain song that I heard once right after the accident that spoke directly to me, saw mothers that knew Bryce and had a son that had died...the list goes on.  I laugh and cry because it is like Bryce is poking me through heaven.  It is hard for me to explain unless you are a mother that has lost a child.  Then I have found you know exactly what I am talking about.  So here is the point.  I re-read a letter sent to me from who was then Elder Utchdorf.  I love this part:
Bryce is in the best place he can possibly be at this time.  Your beloved son continues to be involved in the work of the Lord and is safely in His hands. 
I know this is true and it makes me very happy.  It reminded me of being in Tokyo in the temple with Kim and Dallin.  This was the end of Dallin's mission.  As they were praying for the missionaries, I thought...oh--I have no more missionaries.  Then a voice as distinct and clear as can be came to my mind...no mom.  You will always have a missionary.
It doesn't get better than that!

Sweet Daffodils

Last night after FHE, Kim and I went for a walk.  Kim seemed to have a plan and when we came near the cemetery, he indicated he wanted to go see Bryce's grave.  I was anxious to get in a good walk but followed. 
Last Fast Meeting I had talked about the daffodils in our yard.  They were a sweet reminder to me of the resurrection.  My friend Tammy brought me bulbs the fall following Bryce's death.  I was excited to see them in the Spring and have enjoyed them the past two seasons. 
We were surprised to come to Bryce's headstone and see daffodils.  Kim lifted up the vase and there was a note on the plate under the vase.  I just stared.  I slowly walked away after that wondering who would put the flowers there.  My daffodils have long since faded in the yard.  I have found that it really means a lot to me when others talk about Bryce, tell me things that they remember, and are patient when I go on and on about something Bryce said or did.  I thought that time would heal this heart but I am beginning to think the hole is permanent.  That's okay because the Lord has filled that hole with sweet moments just like last night.

May 13, 2007 Mother's Day Phone Call Home

I was reading my journal and found a summary of a phone call home from Bryce:

• In Port Elizabeth ward there are 85 % white, 15 % black and no coulored.

• Zone Conference is on Tues. and they have taught a Pastor.  He has read 1/2 of the Book of Mormon and they have set up an appointment with Pres. Egan so he can ask him questions.  

• Tyler asked Bryce when the last time was he had pizza and he said yesterday.  They have weird ingredients like bananas, Russian sausage, etc.  He still doesn't like to eat smiley ( goat's tongue, goats head).  He can eat yams now, beet root and anything but tells people he is allergic to soda pop.  
• He talked about townships and that they don't go there at night because everyone burns their garbage   ( no garbage collection) and they would smell like bonfire.  He gets to hear Bob Marley being played and says I probably enjoy it more than I should.   His apartment is small.  There is just the two of them.  There are 100 in the building.  They are on the 2nd story.  All the houses are cinder block with barbed wire and glass around perimeter.  There are police men with armored cars and machine guns everywhere.  The crime is mostly with the blacks and racism is common.  
•   They do service in the mornings then have lunch, do tracting, visit members and get referrals.  He says tracting is a lot like video games.  They keep finding ways to be creative to talk to people and to keep from getting bored.  
• He just finished reading "Our Heritage" and said it was really good. 
• He doesn't mean to be ungrateful but everyone sends him Swedish fish...variety is nice. 

His questions:  Is my room still painted?  How's Provo Canyon construction going?  Mom...do you miss Elder Christensen? Mom: I am so grateful that you are on a mission!  Do you get homesick?  I figure I am down here for only 2 years and it will be gone before I know it so I had better make it count because I will be home before I know. 
Question from Mom:  How do you know how to make meat pies?  I 'm a missionary.  I just figure it out. 

Skateboard beginnings

Snowboarding

Jan 7 2011 Celebrating Bryce

Can you tell what they are doing?   They all look pretty funny and they are trying hard to spell BRYCE!

McKay is making an angel in the snow...just what Bryce is --and would be in the snow if he could!

5 Guys restaurant...eating hamburgers ( close to a steak which is what Bryce would be eating)

Playing Bryce's Sunday standard...Boggle  --some like it more than others

Cute Willy  and very pretty Shelby

Jess always brings me flowers.   She left flowers on our doorstep the week Bryce died.  I love them! ..and Jess.  ...and Brad.  and all Bryce's friends. They are so good to me!